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watchmaker

from signs of a struggle by seranine

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lyrics

we’re meeting outside
of a thai restaurant
in three weeks lauren warns you not to try
it’s like they say
we’re all dying every day
and when we notice it we feel more alive
i’m terrified
of the lives leading me
all the things they always say i must be
my alchemy
is turning from led to me
but i still break down under enough heat

you can turn away all you like
but you’ve set this fire inside me
and i have nowhere i can hide
from it
but there’s no crime in being alive
to breathe in and out is to respire and
to know me and to love me is what you do

you’re sending me away
on a day that’s not a day
there’ll be no anniversary of the end
i am replaced
same old body different face
and a heart i cannot see to call friend
it’s terrifying
the nothing i find
throwing everything out looking for you
with no façade
there is nothing left but god
and god wishes that they were still your girl

you can turn away all you like
‘cause i’ve let you set this fire inside me
and i have nowhere i can hide
from that
but baby there’s no crime in being alive
to be conceived is always to expire and
to love me and destroy me is what you do

we’re meeting outside
of a thai restaurant
you are smiling up at me when i die

credits

from signs of a struggle, released April 12, 2019
© 2017 seranine elliot

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about

seranine image

seranine Seattle, Washington

seattle autistic intersex transgender woman of color.

insights on my whole life at seranine.com.

support my work at patreon.com/seranine.

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